You’ll Never Be Able To Enjoy M&M’s Again – Here’s Why….

Who knew that not even our candy would be safe from the work, radical, progressive narratives of the left? M&M’s, the hard chocolate candy that Mars, Inc. makes, just announced that they’re revamping the characters of their M&M candies to be more progressive and inclusive for the dynamic world that we live in. Yes, cartoon character for candy just isn’t woke enough for the ultra-liberal world we live in anymore.

So, what are the big changes? Well, no more Mr. or Mrs. M&M because that would assume and label the candy’s gender. The official statement says it’s because they’re trying to focus on the personalities of the cady and not their gender. But let’s face it, this is just a front to make everything genderless.

They also are tweaking their personalities to update their voice tonality in a way that makes them more welcoming, unifying, and inclusive, while staying true to the humor and wit everyone expects from M&Ms.

The Green M&M will no longer be flirty or “sexy” anymore. Her lip color will be less distinct and pouty to avoid sexism. No more thigh-high boots either. Instead, she’ll have sneakers and all appendages will now be plain white, not flesh-colored. This is all to make sure that M&M doesn’t send the messages that a woman’s value is intricately contented to her sexual appeal. Yes, we are still talking about chocolate candy, if you’re wondering. No, it’s not a real person.

The green M&M will be more about being a supportive friend. This is all very confusing, actually, because Mars was all for hyper-sexualizing Nicki Minaj’s lesbian sex on a nationwide television program. They also are part of trying to normalize the over-sexualization of children all while trying to blur the lines of gender by removing anything that’s traditionally masculine or feminine? This is just too confusing to keep up with.

Oh yeah. And the anxious Orange M&M will now embrace his anxiety and send the message that it’s commendable to be anxious. He can now be the mascot for the unstable left which is shoving messages of forced vaccination and fear of a virus that’s so intense, it’s better not to leave your house. Honestly, when does it end with these people? Anyway, have fun eating M&M’s, knowing that not even your candy is being used to push narratives of wokeness by the left.

Author: Billy Jenkins